Unrequited
by AtobeLover
Summary: He was in love. Ryoma was in love. But Tezuka loved someone else. And slowly Ryoma began to want to kill himself, because unrequited love isn't worth a pinch of ashes.


Title: Unrequited

By: AtobeLover

Summary: He was in love. Ryoma was in love. But Tezuka loved someone else. And slowly Ryoma began to want to kill himself, because unrequited love isn't worth a pinch of dust.

Rated: T

Disclaimer: I don't own Prince of Tennis.

***

Ryoma loved his captain. It was as simple as that. It was like Jirou loving Atobe. Kirihara loving Yukimura. Heck, Shinji loving Tachibana. His love was similar. But it was nothing but pure love. It was impossible for him, the tennis-obsessed him, to understand what his feelings really were, but all Ryoma knew that he loved it when his captain was around, he loved it when Tezuka sat down, he loved it when Tezuka gave him laps. He knew he loved Tezuka, but he didn't know to what extent.

Tezuka Kunimitsu.

Echizen Ryoma loved Tezuka Kunimitsu. Two names joined together by a verb.

If an adverb was added it'd be _Echizen Ryoma loved Tezuka Kunimitsu pointlessly._

That's right, unrequited love.

Tezuka was going out with someone no less than Fuji.

Ryoma woke up and got ready for school. Actually it was a Saturday, so he was getting ready for tennis practice, which would last four hours today.

Nanako cleared the plates while Karupin was harassed by Nanjiro.

Ryoma cursed his dad for a bit, entrusted the mewling Karupin to his mother and then left.

Momoshiro had said he wasn't going to come by today. So he was going to walk to school. Fast.

Maybe running would be a better choice. He sprinted out of the house and started running at considerable speed. He checked his watch and tripped over his own foot as he saw he was fifteen minutes late.

'Thirty laps, Echizen.' The voice that Ryoma loved so much floated through the air and Ryoma staggered in, staring at Tezuka, who didn't turn his head to acknowledge the tennis prodigy. Ryoma's eyes narrowed with disappointment as he saw the ever-smiling Fuji standing closer than six inches to his captain, and Tezuka not even minding. He flung his bag near Momoshiro's bench and started his laps.

***

'It's not fair.'

'When is _anything _fair, Echizen-kun?' Sakuno smiled ruefully.

'I mean, can't he see how much I love him? That sadistic bastard is torturing me! He uses Tezuka-buchou, he flaunts his relationship in front of me to just tell me that Tezuka-buchou chose him over everyone else! Over fucking Black Cap and Mother Hen and Monkey King and Ex-Blondie!' (A/N: I made that nickname, it's for K. Tachibana. Lol.)

Ryoma and Sakuno were walking home. Sakuno treasured these moments, because even though she loved Ryoma she could not be close to him in the way she wanted but she could be his best friend. Ryoma really needed a girl to understand at times like these (who else? Momoshiro and Kaidoh were always into each other and nothing else; Eiji and Oishi were never there, and Kawamura was straight. The only straight guy on the team.) and seriously, Nanako was out of the question because Nanjiro would be hanging around somewhere.

'Echizen-kun, maybe you should tell him how you feel.'

'Yeah, and get thrown out of the team because "Fuji thinks unrequited love is a problem to tennis".'

Ryoma suddenly took Sakuno's arm and steered them both toward a park. 'I need to talk to you a lot.'

Sakuno smiled sadly as she was dragged along by Ryoma.

They sat down with their backs to a big sakura tree in bloom. Ryoma brought his knees up to his chin and stared at the green grass.

'Echizen-kun?' Sakuno ventured. 'When did you start feeling it all for him?'

'When I saw him.'

'How much do you love him?'

'Love?' Ryoma was startled. He knew it was love but he'd never faced it head-on. He contemplated. 'As much as I love Ponta.'

'Really, Echizen-kun.' Sakuno was not fooled by that hapless answer. Ryoma loved Tezuka way more than that and nothing would deter Sakuno from knowing how much.

Ryoma sighed. 'How do I describe it?'

_He's talking so much, that's so unusual..._

'Look, he plays tennis. He's hot. He is kind. People can look up to him like they can't look up to, say, Akutsu or Horio.'

He took a deep breath. Sakuno waited. 'I love him. Okay? I love him as much as I love sleeping late, I love him more than Karupin, I love him more than tennis. Ever since I saw him, and after that game we played beside the train station, I've fallen for him harder than anything. I guess Fuji just had something special to which Tezuka was attracted... and they started dating.'

Sakuno watched as hot tears spilled out of his eyes and rolled down his cheeks in fat streams.

'I want to kill myself, Sakuno.'

And Sakuno was helplessly crying with him.

***

_I am a victim of unrequited love. I don't think that it will ever end because the man I love is in love with another person, and is dating, kissing him, fucking him._

_Life's hopeless, you know. You'll find out how fucking miserable it is when it all happens to you._

_I mean, everyone has a happy life. I don't. And I resent that._

_Do you know how painful it is to hear them making out and doing more in the shower rooms? Do you know how horrible I feel inside when I see Fuji holding his hand, kissing him in front of all of us, and playing tennis with him? Do you know how much torture it is to see him smile _only _around Fuji, for Fuji, with Fuji?_

_That's why I'm writing this note._

_This is the last time I'll ever write anything._

_Throw Karupin out onto the streets. I mean, it's not like Dad's going to care for her or anything, is it?_

_All my tennis things go to Sakuno. She'll know how to keep them in order._

_My remaining pocket money goes to Eiji and Momo. Buy yourself some burgers._

_And please, all of you, don't mourn over me. I don't deserve it, ungrateful fucker that I was._

_Signed,_

_Ryoma._

But Ryoma didn't commit suicide. His father had burst in and flicked away the razor, and had nearly shattered his ribs by hugging him.

Ryoma was truly, completely absorbed in his love.

***

'Kunimitsu.'

'Yeah, Syuu?'

'Do you know about Ryoma?'

A pause.

'Yes.'

'What are you going to do about it? Throw him out of the team? Wait until he tells you and then reject him? Huh, Tezuka?' Fuji knew the decision he had to make.

'...I don't know, Fuji.' There, it was back to surnames. They were officially over.

***

Ryoma was becoming even more of a loner. He didn't even talk to Sakuno. He didn't even taunt his teachers. He ignored Kikumaru.

He entered the tennis grounds and saw Fuji... without Tezuka. Fuji approached him. 'Hey, Ochibi.'

'Fuji-senpai.'

'Tezuka is looking for you. Something about tennis.'

'Okay. Where?'

'Locker room.'

Ryoma made his way over there. It was the first time he had seen them apart; and he was hoping they'd broken up.

He had no idea how right he was.

***

'Buchou?'

Tezuka looked around. He had been looking through a locker. There was surprise in his eyes. (_Yudan sezu ni iko _flew out the window.)

'Echizen.'

'Fuji-senpai told me you were looking for me. Something about tennis.' Ryoma realized it was _his_ locker.

Tezuka pushed his glasses up his nose. 'No, I didn't tell Fuji anything.'

'Really? Oh, sorry.' Ryoma turned to go, and then asked, 'Why are you searching for whatever in my locker?'

'I'm not searching for anything.'

'Then why have you opened my locker?'

'Inspection.'

'Buchou, respect other people's privacy.' Ryoma chided, feeling thoroughly weird.

'Ryoma, fifteen laps.' How come they were talking so informally? (A/N: I've written this part in a hurry so Tezuka is OOC)

'You called me Ryoma...' Ryoma noted, astonished. He entered the locker room. 'Why? Did you break up with Fuji-senpai?'

Tezuka stiffened. He closed the locker door and turned to face Ryoma.

Ryoma had a feeling of anticipation.

'Like you didn't know that.'

'I didn't--' And Ryoma was interrupted by Tezuka kissing him.

They kissed chastely for the best part of a minute and then Tezuka brushed his tongue across Ryoma's lip. Ryoma moaned quietly and Tezuka slid his tongue in.

Ryoma could not believe it. The cocky brat was kissing the stoic captain. Or rather the other way round. His suicidal thoughts and everything he had led himself to believe (Tezuka doesn't know you're alive, blah blah) joined the _Yudan sezu ni iko _on the ground outside the window.

'Go out with me?' Tezuka asked.

'Like you don't know the answer.'

'I don't--' And Ryoma kissed Tezuka before he could complete his sentence.

***

Eiji needed to get some candy. Quick.

He ran toward the locker room.

He stopped at the doorway.

Screamed silently. Closed the door quietly.

Got the hell out of there.

Couldn't face Ryoma or Tezuka for a week straight.


End file.
